bachelorette.

i would like to escape, and get away from here. i am already working on plans of doing so next week, a day trip with a friend where we will just let the road take us where it will, and even further ahead, the holidays with another friend, where we will disappear into the wild for a few days with campfires and waterfalls, guitars and paper. i am really looking forward to these things, among many others.

one of my favorite things is catching up with long lost friends. opening up completely to one another after so long, and realizing you are just alike, just as you both were when in diapers crawling around together, only now with problems and issues and ideas and thoughts and processes. what an excellent feeling.

it contrasts the ache i get in my stomach when i realize i have no idea what i am doing with myself. educationally, personally, physically, interactively, with myself and with others. i feel that my creative energy is welling up within and if i don't find a release for it soon i could burst. it's growing bigger and bigger and brighter within me and my potential is growing. i want another existential moment so i can realize myself further. i do not want to float by anymore. i want to seize myself. for some reason, i don't know that i can do that right here and now. i keep feeling as though i have to be elsewhere to do it, somewhere new and quite different.

i feel like a panther lately.