on regret.

i can't believe i went the entire last week without posting here. i've been thinking a lot, i know that. joanna asked me what's been on my mind lately since it's quite obvious that i've spaced out a lot and got lost inside here [finger-to-temple] frequently. on reflection, i have no idea what has been on my mind. i suppose it could be summed up with analyzing my relationships and how i feel about the people and things and situations around me, and more closely, on regret.

when a person has wronged me, hurt me, then turned away and tossed me aside coldly, i wonder, do i regret meeting them? do i regret ever sharing any experiences with them, both good and bad? the immediate response is, "i wish i never met him. he broke my heart and dragged the ache--and me--along for awhile." (or many other contextual variations). however, this seems much too brash a statement. certainly i couldn't just wish an entire person with loads of experiences and conversations and thoughts and changes from my past. changes. each person you meet changes you somehow. my father used to always tell me to think of hard situations as 'character building.' how i loathed when he would say that! i see the truth in it, now, though. i could not simply wish i had never met a person, no matter how badly the person hurt me. the hurt he/she caused, each time, taught me something new about myself, or better, helped me grow comfortable with myself. each experience is a learning experience, be it a bad outfit teaching you through humiliation never to wear it again, or romantic feelings for a person then heartbreak, teaching you not to give yourself up so easily. some things are easier than others to bounce back from, but when you realize all that is to be learned from these situations, it gets a little easier. you cannot make the pain go away, but you can at least embrace it and make it not in vain.

in sum, i think that living a life of regret is unnecessary and even a little naive. certainly everyone feels regret now and then, but i think if we can learn not to do so, or accustom ourselves with learning from it, we'd be much better off. here is a quote from the science of sleep for you to think about. it may seem off topic but it most certainly is not; even if you cannot bridge a connection, at least appreciate it for what it is: "nobody knows what goes on between us, but everybody has an opinion on it."